


you look happier, you do

by humanluke



Series: 5sos prompts [16]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29448384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanluke/pseuds/humanluke
Summary: calum wants what he used to have.
Relationships: Calum Hood/Ashton Irwin
Series: 5sos prompts [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019475
Kudos: 1





	you look happier, you do

“I was happier with you.”

“You think that wasn’t how I felt too? You think I wanted to end things? You think it was easy for me?” Ashton’s voice is a little harsh as the word drip from his tongue. Calum almost flinches at the harsh tone, at how raw he sounds. He chalks it up to the drink in Ashton’s hand, but he knows that’s not the whole truth.

“I never said that. Don’t put words in my mouth.” His voice is tentative, and he doesn’t know when he started to feel so small. He looks up from his glass, still mostly full, not wanting to add to his feelings by introducing alcohol into the equation. “I just... I don’t know. I still love you, Ashton…” His words drop off like he was planning on saying something else, but he can’t bring himself to say anything more.

“Why now? Why are you just bringing this up now?” Ashton’s brow furrows as he shakes his head, carding a hand through his soft brown curls. “It’s almost been a year, Cal. You’re the one who wanted to end things, not me.You did this, you know that, right?” Calum’s gaze drops down to his shoes, and he scuffs at the floor with the toe of his sneaker. He knows what he did. He knows he fucked things up. Doesn’t mean he can’t want to fix things.

“I made a mistake, Ashton, I’m sorry,” he gripes, tearing his gaze from the linoleum to look at him. “I didn’t know what I was doing, what I was feeling… I was fucking stupid, Ash…”

“Why did you wait until I moved on?” The words pierce Calum like an arrow, and he has to set his glass down on the counter. He was scared if he gripped it any tighter, the glass would shatter under his grip. He didn’t need any more messes in his life right now. “I’m finally happy again, Calum, why are you trying to ruin this for me?”

“I miss you,” he says softly. “I miss us. I know that I ruined this, I know that, I just want a second chance, please…”

“I’m not going to throw away something that makes me happy on the off-chance you don’t get fucking bored of me again,” Ashton returns. “I’m happy, Calum. Just because you’re not anymore doesn’t mean you can drag us all down with you. You ruined me for the better part of a year and you think I’m just going to come back to you like nothing ever happened between us?” Calum shifts between his feet, and he knows Ashton is right. This is all his fault.

“I just hate seeing you happy without me,” he admits softly. “I shouldn’t have ended things, I’m sorry--”

“Stop apologizing. You know you’re not sorry. I’m not playing these games with you anymore.” Ashton finishes his drink and turns on his heels. “Goodbye, Calum.”

Calum reaches out towards him but can’t find the words that are desperately clawing up his throat. He just watches him walk away, knowing he did this. He was his own worst enemy.

His greatest form of self destruction.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://cakeltfv.tumblr.com)!


End file.
